


Neme-Versary (Hand-to-Tail combat)

by LooneyMooney



Series: Stories from an Endless Summer (and Beyond) [4]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: In Character, Interspecies Sex, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, platypus mating habits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 14:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4308276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooneyMooney/pseuds/LooneyMooney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear P the P,<br/>Happy Neme-versary. You know, like you're my nemesis and it's our anniversary? Neme-versary!!! It's clever with a touch of evil. And evil wouldn't be the same without you. Come by and we'll celebrate. And by "celebrate," I mean I will trap you in a cage and we'll engage in hand-to-tail combat.<br/>Dr. D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neme-Versary (Hand-to-Tail combat)

Hand-to-Tail Combat (Neme-versary)

Perry the platypus took a deep breath and glanced at the newspaper clipping in his hand, scowling as a deep blush heated the skin underneath his teal water-tight fur.

Dear P the P,  
Happy Neme-versary. You know, like you’re my nemesis and it’s our anniversary? Neme-versary!!! It’s clever with a touch of evil. And evil wouldn’t be the same without you. Come by and we’ll celebrate. And by “celebrate,” I mean I will trap you in a cage and we’ll engage in hand-to-tail combat.  
Dr.D

While he appreciated the sweet gesture and the concealment of his identity, Perry couldn’t help but be mortified. He had been given the clipping by a fairly confused major and an EXTREMELY suggestive intern. Really. He just HAD to get that published in a NEWSPAPER, for the entire Tri-State Area to see, didn’t he? Even WITH the code names, this information was just a little too... PERSONAL. And yet... he re-read the message, a fond smile growing over his bill. It was just so... HEINZ. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he re-read the last line. Hand-to-tail combat... 

Perry the Platypus glanced up from the wheel of his hovercraft, realising that he was already at the strangely shaped purple building in the sky. He parked his hovercraft and leapt out of it expertly, landing on the balcony of his Doofy-looking scientist. Immediately, a ring of bars slammed down from the ceiling, effectively trapping the teal monotreme within the promised cage. A pair of confetti cannons burst out and shot confetti - one shooting teal, brown, and orange, and the other shooting black, white, olive and brown confetti. Heinz Doofenshmirtz stepped out of the chaos of festive color, a pointed party hat atop his head and blowing a party pooper in his mouth. He took out the party pooper and grinned down upon his trapped nemesis with childish glee.

“Perry the Platypus, you came! Though... I suppose you DO come every day, but anyway, happy Neme-versary, Perry the Platypus!!! Oh... my hat? Well, I WOULD offer you one of these party hats, but you look so cute in your own little hat, that I thought it would be better to just... what? You like me better WITHOUT the hat? Oh, okay, FINE, Perry the Platypus, I’ll take it off, but ONLY because it’s our Neme-versary. There, is... is that better? Are we good... Yeah, we’re good. Anyway, BEHOLD! My Neminator!!! See... see what I did there, Perry the Platypus? I’m not quite sure how to spell it, exactly, but it’s a mix of the prefix Neme- and the suffix -Inator. Hey, maybe I should make a Suffixinator... Anyway, I’m going to zap us with this little inator here, and we’ll be nemeses FOREVER!!! It’s powered by black fortune cookies and ancient roman war scriptures, so our fates will be forever intertwined with a loving hatred so deep and passionate, that it will NEVER end!!!”

He smiled brilliantly at the shocked platypus. When he received his invitation, he hadn’t expected a scheme. And yet, this inator’s purpose was surprisingly... intimate. Almost romantic in it’s purpose. And yet, he knew he could not allow such a device to fire. Who knew what sort of side effects there were to altering this strange connection he had to the man he was to thwart, perhaps for all eternity. Even if it seemed for the better. Perry began to rapidly search for a way to escape his cage...

“But first...”

Perry’s attention snapped from his trap to the tall man lurking over his cage, grinning evilly with his eyelids and eyebrows lowered in a loving glare. Perry found himself frowning defiantly and returning the look, his hands balled into fists by his sides. Doofenshmirtz knelt down and reached out a hand to cup his nemesis’s cheek.

“...we have to “celebrate,” remember?”

Perry shivered, and his tail raising and a tiny platypus sound escaping his bill from the sudden outwards breath of air. And yet, despite all these signs of submission... he smirked at his nemesis as his paw lashed out to latch onto the doctor’s long pointed nose, yanking him close to look directly into his deep blue eyes. A small “Eep!” escaped his nemesis as this transpired, his eyes wide as he looked into the bronze eyes of the smirking platypus. The doctor smiled sheepishly.

“Eh he he... sorry about that, Perry the Platypus, I suppose that was a bit -”

He was cut off as a strangely soft and rubbery bill crashed against his rambling lips. Perry reveled in the electricity that coursed through his entire being from the millions of tiny electricity-sensing buttons upon his bill, sparking through his nervous system and inducing an intense feeling of pleasure. A warm wet tongue passed through the doctor’s lips to taste the bill before him, and Perry platy-whined as the feeling increased tenfold as the human saliva acted as a conductor for the already-intense organic electricity eminating from the man before him. The doctor smirked triumphantly, an evil gleam taking over his eyes as he pulled back slightly, causing an even greater whine from the platypus coupled with an intense glare. Doof’s smirk grew.

“Eh, you like THAT, Perry the Platypus? A little WEIRD, but I’ll take it.”

He then moved on to almost comically slather his entire tongue all over Perry’s bill, with “lallalalllalalla” sounds coming from him. If Perry weren’t so completely overcome with feeling, he would have rolled his eyes, but, as it were, he opened his bill to snake his own tongue along that of his nemesis’s, pressing himself against the cage bars and clutching his nemesis’s shoulders. Doofenshmirtz shuddered and moaned, falling against the cage and snaking his arms around Perry’s waist. His fingernails scraped lightly against his nemesis’s erect tail, and... Perry gasped and growled, tugging at the doctor’s labcoat urgently, managing to push the white fabric down off his shoulders before Doof got the idea and started helping, tugging his long arms from the sleeves and leaving the white fabric crumpled on the floor, before coming back to the platypus with twice the passion. Perry practically melted, running his small green hands up and down the doctor’s long, lanky arms, feeling the stringy, vein-covered muscle built up from years of intense daily combat and lifting heavy machinery. It was a strange kind of muscular, more feminine than the kind a professional body builder might gain - like a gymnast, spindly yet impossibly strong. He teased the sleeves of his black t-shirt before delving underneath the dark fabric to press against his shoulder blades, before running up to press into the tender flesh at the back of his neck, which Perry knew from years of battle was a particularly sensitive weak spot for Heinz. Doofenshirtz whined and melted into the touch, arching into the bars of Perry’s cage. Perry smirked triumphantly and growled in a fertile tone much deeper than his usual chatter, and bit lightly into the doctor’s neck, causing him to cry out.

"Ah! Perry the Platypus, that's- that's incredible! And slightly confusing, how - aunnn... How can you b-baaaah - BITE me so effectivvv...vely with alllllllllll that ru-uuhhh-bbery BILL in the way? It just doesn't maaaaaake much SE-eeeennnn-nce..."

Perry smirked. Though he would never admit it, he loved the sound of his nemesis’s voice. Perry let the running commentary fade into the background, not really listening to WHAT his nemesis was saying so much as he was listening to HOW it sounded.  
But then, a hand clamped down on his tail, and Perry let out a strangled cry as waves of eroticism washed over him, mixing with the tingling organic electricity still left over from the foreign saliva on his bill. Seizing his opportunity, Doofenshmirtz leaned over and... oh, dear god, was he sucking on his bill? It was a very strange sensation, having the microscopic buttons pushed outwards rather than being pressed down... however, it was oddly... erotic. Perry found himself whining as the sensation of the hand on his tail mixed with the mouth on his bill. The helpless noise soon built up into a possessive growl, however, as his instincts overtook him for a brief moment. Within seconds, the black shirt lay in tattered shreds on the ground with the discarded labcoat, and the cage bars slammed open and down again, with both nemeses trapped inside. Doofenshritz lay stunned on the cage floor, unsure of how his nemesis managed to not only escape the trap, but re-set it and manage to trap them together. Doofenshmirtz was left sprawled out beneath the platypus, beautiful blue eyes wide open and mouth slightly open in mild surprise.

"Perry the platypus, how did you...? Uh, you know what, never mind, I should have expected this coming from you. You DO always somehow come up with a way to escape from my traps, after all..."

As he rambled, Doofenshmirtz slowly began to stroke the teal fur of the figure above him, vocally fascinated by the texture and size of the small, yet imposing figure above him. 

"You know, Perry the Platypus, I always DID like my partners short, but DOMINANT, you know? Like, the kinda person who sticks to their guns against all odds, and are really STRONG, but at the same time short people are so well-balanced, you know? Like, look at me, I'm all gangly and long limbs, and I'm so CLUMSY, but short people, they, they're so much closer to the ground, it's so much HARDER to fall when you're like that, and there's something so REWARDING about looking up at someone you usually have to look down at to see, it's just so REFRESHING..."

Perry smirked and made a seductive noise, bronze eyes half-lidded and inching closer to Heinz's own, his tiny teal hand brushing softly against the exposed skin at his waist before swiftly pantsing his nemesis. Doof yelped, his face turning completely red as Perry paused to stare at the man's underwear...  
It was the pair of agent P boxers.

Now, WHY did that turn him on so much? Doofenshmirtz gulped nervously, his bright blue eyes wide as Perry's bill transformed itself from it's curiously dumbfounded expression, into a DANGEROUSLY cocky smirk, his seductive bronze eyes half-lidded and his eyebrows lowered into a captivating lover's glare.

"P-Perry the Platypus, I don't like that look on your-"

He was interrupted mid-rant as, once again, the human's endlessly moving lips were roughly met with a passionate tangerine bill, a rumbling growl building in Perry's being and mixing within the lip lock, transforming into an aroused shiver as the trembling passed from platypus to man. Perry lowered the elastic of his partner's appropriately-themed boxers, drawing the hardened length and a startled gasp from his nemesis, followed by a whining moan as the tiny teal hand squeezed the top of his penis and pressed a talented green thumb into the leaking slit. Doofenshmirtz's back arched, as he cried out in pleasure, nearly bucking the platypus off of him - but, Perry held fast, as though he were in a rodeo, and Doofenshmirtz were a wild cow. Getting a grip on himself and his nemesis (literally), Perry rubbed their lengths together, growling throatily as sparks flew through his body from the smooth, SMOOTH touch and as his lover let out a string of broken German. Every other breath flew involuntarily through his vocal chords, leaving the two foreign languages of Platypus and German to intermingle in the humid summer air, emanating from the wonderfully cramped cage.


End file.
